As I continue to learn more about persons with a differing abilities, I have come to learn that listening and creativity are really the cornerstones to the work they we are a part of. When I think about some of those whom we support, they have provided many gifts in the lessons on the art of listening, staying flexible, being creative and working towards what one believes in.

Often time's families, self advocates and service providers don't think about normal lives when we are talking about developing services for those with complicated needs. Typical homes with people who are loved and cherished are often not the first options discussed when you are perceived to have a disabling condition. It is because the service system and professionals have developed a different way of supporting and maintaining those who do not fit the typical mold. Traditionally, people who are perceived as unlike the typical populations are pulled from the roots of family, neighbors and friends and are served in a system of supports that is very foreign to them. Strong parents and advocates, who are not afraid to fight, have worked long and hard to break out of the traditional mold that meets few people's true needs.

The individuals that I speak about were challenging to most, difficult to many and were extremely misunderstood. They were institutionalized, incarcerated, managed, medicated, controlled, clientized and victimized. Yet each of these people later became champions due to the hard fight that each of them had against a system and service that did not meet their needs.

In a society, if a normal life is a 'right' for you, and then it should not be something that someone else has to fight for. Those that have needed to fight long and hard for what they need are in deed champions. They have given those of us that took the time to listen 'with different ears', the gift of understanding that there is a separately unique way of providing supports and services.

A normal life, along with the attributes that each person brings, should be paramount in all decisions that are made. But unfortunately normal lifestyles and personal gifts are often clouded or unrecognized because they are disguised by a perceived disability and a model of support. A normal life is seen to be far fetched, or even unobtainable, by those who see the disability. The person is then not recognized for the gift of who they are, but instead they are seen as the perceived difficulty that they bring, as discussed in the brief story of Susan.

Susan was institutionalized for most of her life. In her mid twenties, she was finally accepted into a group home. At this residence, she became highly agitated every time someone left the house without her. She repeatedly damaged property and injured others. Susan was purposely communicating what she needed, but not in a way that was easily understood by most. Susan knew what she wanted but staff were not understanding her. Susan was a champion and never let her needs be unknown to the dismay of many around her. It was finally recognized that Susan just wanted to be on the go and did not want to compete with others from the group home.

After much planning, Susan then moved to her own home with the support of typical community people. She did not have to live with or compete with others with disabilities. She now had the personal attention that she worked so hard to get. Susan now lives peacefully with Ingrid, a person who loves and respects her. She no longer damages property or injures others. Her voice was finally heard. She had finally taught those around her how to listen differently to perceived problems, how to be creative and flexible, and how to work towards her own personal dreams.

Susan's had the desire and special ability to never stop trying to tell us what her needs were. No matter how much she was controlled, punished, or medicated, she kept trying to communicate to the staff what she felt and needed. How frustrating is must have been to her to be communicating to a crowd that did not understand what she was trying to tell them, but that never seem to discouraged her from letting staff know what she wanted.

Susan has many gifts, one of which is the gift of personal determination that went both misunderstood and unrecognized for years. Because of her own determination Susan now lives a more peaceful life. She lives with someone whom she deeply cares for, without the competition of others around her. She lives in a beautiful home with stylish furnishings and a person who enjoys her company. She has deeper relationships and more involvement with her family than she has ever had before. These relationships were paramount to her but highly disregarded in the past.

Realizing that Susan was trying to tell us something was the first step in changing her life. Susan did not change, it was the staff that learned to change their ways because they finally began to understand what Susan was trying to tell them all along.

Developing a more realistic and normal life based upon the attributes that Susan has was no longer far fetched when one let go of the perceived disability and saw the strengths and gifts that Susan brought to her own life and the life of others. Susan gave to us the gift of deepening our ability to listen. She helped us to be both creative and thoughtful as we thought about what services she really needed. She helped us to think about the safeguards that were really necessary in her life. All of this was because we learned to listen and believe in what Susan was telling us. As she continued to fight for what she wanted, she helped us to realize what a champion she really is.

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